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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22665133">Of Fairy Tales</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedakomskaikru/pseuds/hedakomskaikru'>hedakomskaikru</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Jester POV, a bit of introspection, fluff at the end, post c2e70+</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:55:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,505</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22665133</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedakomskaikru/pseuds/hedakomskaikru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jester figures out that love isn't at all like the books she's read.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>183</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Of Fairy Tales</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N: Y'all I'm at c2e70+s and I feel very robbed of Ford's accent during the start of the campaign. I thought it made him seem more rugged. Now he's all British and weird. Also because I’m in this part of the campaign, I got used to not having Yasha around, too, so she isn't in this fic a lot. I know she's a fan favorite, but I forgot to include her in some of the scenes. I'm in the OrphanMaker!Yasha mindset when I wrote some of them.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jester realized slowly that she might not necessarily want a fairy tale love or a fairy tale life, and that in the first place, it wasn't something that was achievable.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>I</p><p>The first time she doubted it was after her first kiss. Or if it even was one. Nott seemed to think it was. But Jester couldn't really remember anything about it, but cold hands and Fjord pulling away, while her lungs were painfully burning while he did. She wondered if there was a way to still salvage that. Should she have asked for a redo? Or would that have counted as a second kiss already?</p><p>She got maybe a little bit of a clarification about it when she offhandedly mentioned the event to Beau one night. Jester couldn't even remember how they got to first kisses.</p><p>"Oh, I didn't even see that. I think maybe I was trying to take that last breath of air off the top of the chamber before it filled out," Beau muttered, eyes kind of squinting while she thought about it. "That was your first?"</p><p>Jester fumbled, immediately cutting off eye contact to stare at her fidgeting hands. "I mean I've had <i>loads</i>-"</p><p>"I’m not judging-"</p><p>"-maybe, maybe even more than five-"</p><p>"With Fjord?"</p><p>"No! Not with Fjord! Just…" She jerkily tried to motion her hands trying to mean something Beau thought she just wasn't picking up.</p><p>"Ok," Beau reassured holding her hands up, averted her eyes so Jester wouldn't feel pressured. She felt Jester's gaze land on her again when she did, and she gave herself a figurative pat on the back for knowing her friend enough that she had a few tricks up her sleeve already to make her feel a little bit more comfortable. "Ok, well."</p><p>Silence stretched a bit, and Jester felt herself shrinking a little. "You don't think…?"</p><p>Beau lifted a hand to scratch her cheek, just to give her hands something to do. "Um… I'm not an expert-"</p><p>"I mean <i>I'd</i> consider you an expert-"</p><p>"No, I-"</p><p>"-you've kissed <i>a lot</i> of girls probably-"</p><p>"Jester-"</p><p>"-and maybe also had <i>a lot</i> of girlfriends-mmph!" Jester snorted out a laugh upon getting the pillow thrown at her face with unsurprising accuracy. "Beau!"</p><p>Beau rolled her eyes, but her lips were twitching up in amusement and affection. "Jesus. Let me talk."</p><p>"Ok, ok ok!" Jester laughed, nodding her head in time with her ascent.</p><p>"Ok, good-"</p><p>"I mean you <i>are</i> the expert- wait!" She raised her hands in defense, the first pillow thrown tucked under her elbows, and the second aimed at her now.
</p><p>Beau rolled her eyes again, placing the threatening pillow on her lap. "Ok." She raised an index finger to motion for Jester to behave. She sighed, leaning backwards so she was somewhat slumped, not expecting to get into this conversation with Jester.</p><p>Beau scratched at her cheek again. "Let's see-"</p><p>"I think you got that from Caleb." Jester watched Beau's eyes flick towards her, the affectionate gaze mixed with annoyance. "The… scratching… thing- Go on. Please."
</p><p>Beau just shook her head, smiling fully now. "Yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna- ok, shit. Um." She shrugged. "It's not anything special, I don't think. I mean it doesn't have anything to do with making it special."</p><p>Jester's head tilted in confusion. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"I mean, I guess, if you're lucky, it could be really special for you?" Beau sat up, so she could look at Jester better. "But I think what's important is that you go into it wanting it."</p><p>Jester pondered the idea, eyes going unfocused as she stared off towards the end of Beau's bed.</p><p>"And sometimes it's not what we've always thought it would be, but I think for first kisses--or actually, maybe kisses in general?--it's important that you want it." Jester didn't know if she was just imagining it, but Beau seemed to look like she was hesitating for the next part of what she was going to say. "Did… did you…" Beau took a breath, and she continued haltingly. "Did you want it… to happen?"</p><p>Jester seemed to deflate a little, once again thinking back on the supposed kiss, and only remembering burning lungs, and the short relief of air blown through her mouth. There was none of the soft lips, the tender caress of fingers on her cheeks, the magnetic pull of bodies.</p><p>She definitely didn't want to be drowning again.</p><p>"I don't know, really." Jester seemed bothered by it, and Beau didn't know if it was because Jester once again didn't have a first kiss by Beau's definition of it, or if Jester was disappointed it was with Fjord. Or maybe Jester thought there was something wrong with her for not feeling the things she was supposed to feel. Beau felt herself frown.</p><p>Jester seemed to fumble for a moment. "I've thought about it a lot, and maybe I've… maybe I've set myself up for disappointment. I've always imagined a sunset, maybe a shoreline."</p><p>Beau smiled sadly at that, and Jester didn't know why. "Jester, I'm no expert on kisses, and I know fuck all about love, but I think if you kiss the right person…" Beau gestured wildly, a sign that she was trying to find the right words. "Just- I don't know. Shit." Beau actually turned a little red, and it was her turn to avoid eye contact. "I think you kind of forget what you imagined, and the only thing left to really think about is them."</p><p>Jester tilted her head, now in quiet appreciation of Beau, who she knew to be a little less forthright about these things, but she was trying really hard for Jester. "Is that how it was for you?"</p><p>Jester expected Beau to sputter in embarrassment, but she was surprised to see the slow stretch of Beau's lips into a rare genuine smile that wasn't one of her trademark smirks. "Yeah, Jessie. It kind of was."</p><p>Jester didn't know what to do with the sudden pit of discomfort in her belly that seemed to not like to think about Beau kissing.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>II</p><p>They were all looking a little rough, which wasn't anything new. Jester could see her unicorns circling her in her peripheral vision, but her eyes were trained on the large minotaur they were fighting. She was bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet, watching Beau wipe a hand over a split lip. Running low, Jester surmised.</p><p>She continued to watch as Beau seemed to look to her left and right trying not to move too much to draw attention. Beau seemed to lower her center of gravity, about to move, then stiffen upon glancing in her direction.</p><p>Jester grit her teeth as Beau settled once more on her feet, apparently deciding not to move away from the threat. Jester looked towards her right and saw Caleb, to her left and saw Fjord. Caduceus was probably a little ways behind, a few of them moving a little faster because of him. She looked back at Beau, staff in both hands, and Jester knew Beau decided not to move because doing so would endanger the rest of them.</p><p>She also knew that Beau could only handle one, maybe two more strikes, if she was lucky. And for a creature so big, this minotaur was moving quite quickly, its hits almost always striking true.</p><p>Their next bout of attacks came, a mix of dark, fire and radiant energy. Jester watched Beau sink into a defensive stance, still stubbornly holding her place in front. She watched Fjord's attacks miss, Caleb's connect, but the creature wasn't getting damaged fast enough.
</p><p>And she didn't know what it was-</p><p>(She did. It was the lopsided grin she received from Beau when Jester moved to hide behind a pillar. Their eyes had briefly connected, and Beau had spared a split second to wink at her. Jester didn’t know what the fluttering in her tummy meant.)</p><p>-but suddenly she was thinking about her fairy tales again. About princes and dragons and damsels in distress. Of being swept off of her feet and protected.</p><p>Jester realized that if she really loved someone enough, she probably wouldn't want to be the one being saved all the time.</p><p>She also wanted to be the one doing the saving.</p><p>Resolve renewed, she gripped the Traveler's symbol perpetually hung on her neck, and she called out for help, and for protection for the member of their group currently taking most of the blows. Her eyes glaze pink, and a bright flash of light encompasses the chamber they were in. And where once there was a minotaur, there was now a weasel.</p><p>"Fucking dope." Beau called out, recovering from her stance, giving Jester a nod.</p><p>"Thanks, Beau," Jester replied in her usual singsong voice. She motioned for everyone to hurry and start making their way out, knowing that fighting the creature was out of their depth.</p><p>Jester caught Beau's hand as she was limping out, and Jester slung her arm around her.</p><p>"Oh. You don't have to- I can-" Beau tried to take her arm. "Oh," Beau breathed out, as she felt a warmth seep into her from the skin pressed against what was exposed of Jester's. She felt herself relax, and actually lean a little closer to her tiefling friend. "Thanks, Jes."</p><p>Jester hummed, tightening her hold on the hand attached to the slung arm, knowing if she let go, Beau would amble forward sucking up the pain and not admitting she was hurting. "Well. I'm a cleric."</p><p>Beau laughed. "We're on our way back, anyway. You didn't have to heal me If you don't want to."
</p><p>"I can't take back the spell, Beau."</p><p>Beau laughed again, and Jester frowned when it was cut short by a hiss of pain. "You're a little shit. Fine, yeah, I guess not." Beau subtly adjusted her position, and Jester didn't hesitate to wrap her arm securely around Beau's waist to take more of her weight. "I just mean, you know, for future reference, if it looks like we're close to bedding down, you don't have to heal me anymore."</p><p>"I don't mind." She did. She minded less, at least. Jester was kind of tired of people thinking clerics were automatically healers.</p><p>Of course, she wasn't gonna let anyone die if she could help it, though. And if she could help with the pain a bit while they were winding down anyway and she didn't need her spells anymore, then she would do it.</p><p>They were quiet for a while, with Jester sneaking another healing when she noticed that Beau was leaning heavier against her. Beau gave her a hip check while walking as thanks, winking.</p><p>Jester grinned back, blue cheeks heating purple, before she redirected her gaze forward.</p><p>"Hey, Beau?" She called out after a while, voice quiet.</p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"I don't like seeing you get hurt when you're the only one standing between us and a really, really big monster."</p><p>"S'kinda what I’m for."
</p><p>There were out of the chamber now, getting ready to load horses and the new cart they've acquired for this particular mission. Jester murmured for Fjord and Caleb to take the horses so Beau could be on the cart on the way home. Nott and Caduceus were taking the front of the cart.</p><p>Jester helped Beau lean back against the cart and Jester sat beside her. "I know," Jester replied, picking up the conversation. "I still don't like it."</p><p>Beau hummed, already falling asleep. She couldn't even see Jester headshake, anymore, putting their talk to rest until further notice. Jester gently placed a hand on Beau's cheek pulling her in until she was leaning against Jester comfortably, and they stayed that way for the rest of the journey.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>III</p><p>Jester was kind of getting tired of the babying.</p><p>"No. Clerics in the middle." Fjord motioned for Caduceus and Jester to be sandwiched in the middle while they walked deeper through a corridor that was progressively getting dimmer and dimmer.</p><p>Jester followed the order, trying to keep a pout from her face. It's a good thing Fjord had already started to walk forward, so he missed it.</p><p>But Beau didn't.</p><p>The monk was just as transparent as Jester was with emotions sometimes, so her amusement was almost bleeding through her eyes when they met with Jester's. Jester's pout finally came through at that, and she huffed. "What?"</p><p>Beau only shrugged, and wrapped a hand on one of Jester's wrists to pull her a little backwards, so they were flanking the rear of the group, side by side.</p><p>Jester frowned. "I thought clerics were supposed to be in the middle.</p><p>Beau let her hand slide off when she was happy with where Jester was, and if it lingered a little longer than what was necessary, they both ignored it. "You're the strongest member of this group right now, though?"</p><p>That was true. Jester knew that. But she still felt her cheeks heating up a little bit, and she directed a bright smile towards Beau, a stark contrast to the dangers they were just about to walk into. "Thanks, Beau."</p><p>Beau shrugged again. "Only saying it how it is. It'd be stupid to just hide you away."</p><p>And Jester thought about all the ways that damsels in distress in books are always hidden, and when they are found are always protected. In theory, it had always felt romantic and beautiful to have someone protect her and save her.</p><p>But Jester was finding out, the longer the time she spent with the Mighty Nein, that the more she loved her friends, the less she wanted to be the one protected and the more she wanted to be the one doing the protecting.</p><p>She didn't like it when Beau was throwing herself in front of all of them so she could take most of the attacks, even if it was her job. She didn't like it when she was too far behind, too hidden to be able to help Beau deal damage because she was limited to exposing herself for a few seconds and spending the rest of the time hiding. It didn't feel enough to send a duplicate of herself to stand with Beau when things were going to shit. She hated seeing Beau get hurt while doing her job as their team tank. Jester wanted to be the one doing the protecting sometimes. She wanted to be the one protecting-</p><p>Oh.</p><p>
  <i>Oh.</i>
</p><p><br/>
</p><p>IV</p><p>First loves were apparently a myth.</p><p>She thought she loved Fjord. He was tall (taller than her at least), noble, kind. He put her first when it counted (he put everyone first, actually), and he was a gentleman. He seemed like the kind of person books would talk about endlessly. He was tough, but also soft in all the right ways.</p><p>But the books never talked about your first love getting it on with someone else.</p><p>She didn't know how much she'd scowled around Fjord and Avantica. She'd watched Fjord walk off and disappear and then reappear with shifty eyes while looking behind him. And she was paying attention to him enough at the time to notice that Avantica appearing a few minutes after he did, always looked smug, satisfied. She didn't have to wonder what they did. She wasn't that naïve. And, at the time, she'd felt a pang in her heart when it happened.</p><p>She thought, maybe hoped, that she'd find someone and she would be his first love, and he would be hers, and it would be a seamless blending of souls, destiny weaving their lives and hearts together.</p><p>While they were going through that stint with Avantica, she'd felt like she was starting to fall in love with someone who wasn't even seeing her.</p><p>Beau seemed to take this on a whole other level.</p><p>Jester wasn't judging, she didn't think. And it was just a slight pang of discomfort when she caught of glimpse of Beau and Keg together. She'd maybe never turned as purple as she did when she saw them disappear under blankets. But by the time it was Reani getting pulled into Beau's arms, Jester was sure there was a very deep, very uncomfortable pit in her stomach that made her want to clench her fingers and look away immediately.</p><p>So she'd tried to act like she didn't care. She liked Reani. She would be good for Beau. Jester just thought that maybe she had too high a standard for people who wanted to be with her thus far consistent roommate. Because Beau deserved the world. All her friends did. But Jester was aware of a part of her that was slightly more protective of Beau, in particular. She wanted to see Beau smile, and she wanted her to be happy. What little Jester knew of Beau's childhood helped her understand while sometimes Beau was distrustful and defensive. And she seemed to be none of that with Reani.</p><p>So Jester was glad for Beau. She was. Maybe.</p><p>She still had that deep, uncomfortable pit on her stomach, and now there was a hollowness to her chest, too. She could ignore that, she could.</p><p>(She couldn't. Not really. And when she noticed that Beau was extremely smiley the next morning, she would deny to everyone that she was maybe just a little bit short with everyone else.)</p><p>Then there was Caleb, who had a love separated from him through circumstance. Jester surmised Astrid was Caleb's first and maybe only love, the kind that she thought should have lasted their whole lives. But Caleb was with them, heartbreak hidden underneath his books and knowledge. Jester wouldn't even have heard Astrid's name from Caleb himself if he hadn't gotten drunk.</p><p>She definitely wanted the inevitability of a love that you've first found, and then fought hard for come to a romantic close. But she didn't know if she wanted that for someone she loved as dearly as Caleb. She didn't know if she wanted someone that dangerous to be the one to take care of one of the most caring in their group, even if he would deny it. She wanted more for her wizard friend. He deserved more than a love lost, and found in the depths of what the Empire has done to him.</p><p>And while she liked the idea of first loves, she wanted Caleb to find something, someone kinder. Someone who would love him above the promise of power, above the control of the Empire.</p><p>Yasha had found it, Jester thought. From how much they've talked and the soft looks Yasha always had whenever she talked about Zualla, Jester believed Yasha was the only one of them who had ever come close. And even now, having lost her love, talking about Zualla was the only time Yasha actually looked like she was maybe happy despite everything that had happened to her. And honestly Jester believed Yasha would actually go through everything she's gone through again for the girl she lost.</p><p>Jester could only wish to have a love like that.</p><p>And hope to not have it ripped away from her as violently.</p><p>Jester wondered if that was the only actualization for first loves. Because wasn't it similar for Nott? Veth? Veth and Yeza, and the tragedy of getting taken, of being turned to the very monster that terrorized her family. And now there was a chance for them to be together, to live their lives peacefully, but there was just this one thing keeping them apart. A superficial facet of being turned nightmare was holding Nott back. So instead of staying with Yeza and Luc, Nott was with them.</p><p>Nott was scared, Jester could fathom. She knew the others thought she was too naïve sometimes, too ignorant. She wasn't immune to the frequent amused looks. But she was good at <i>seeing</i> people. And as close as she was to Nott, Jester could see pretty easily through her drunken demeanor. Everything that could make Nott happy was so close, yet seemed so far out of reach.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>V</p><p>"I don't even have the evil step-mother going on."
</p><p>Beau, who was sat in front of Jester, between her legs by the foot of the bed, humoring the tiefling by letting her braid Beau's hair, snorted.</p><p>Jester giggled. "Were you asleep?"</p><p>"No," Beau grumbled, covering up a yawn. "Maybe," she muttered even more quiet. "You're really comfortable, alright."</p><p>Jester still caught it, making her smile wider. She leaned forward to give Beau a hug from behind, squeezing a little tighter than she usually did to make Beau grunt, before pulling back.</p><p>After a second, Beau spoke again. "What was that?"</p><p>The corners of Jester's lips twitch into a smile. "Nothing, Beau. Keep still!"</p><p>"Ok, ok, ok!"</p><p>Jester laughed again at the bad attempt at mimicking her accent, before going back to braiding.</p><p><br/>
</p><p>VI</p><p>"Beau?"</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>They were in bed, cuddled. They'd had to settle in a small town with a rundown inn to let a raging storm pass before continuing on. Jester's back was pressed against Beau's front because <i>'I’m a badass monk, Jester, I know I’m little spoon when we do that hug thing we do but I gotta be big spoon sometimes when we cuddle ok'</i>. And she went on to reassure Jester that she knew Jester was a badass cleric, but Jester had just rolled her eyes at that, pulling Beau's arm around her and turning so they were cuddled already.</p><p>Beau sounded like she was on the cusp of falling asleep. Jester had never met someone who could fall asleep so fast. It must be all the meditating, clearing the mind thing. But she pressed on.</p><p>"Beau."</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>"I have a question."</p><p>"Hm.</p><p>Huffing, Jester rolled back over so she was facing Beau, feeling warm that the monk simply lifted her arm to accommodate the movement, but brought it around Jester again to hold her close. "This is important."</p><p>"'Course," Beau slurred, actually cuddling closer, pulling Jester in to settle under her chin.</p><p>And while Jester really liked it when they cuddled, and she liked pressing against Beau when the monk was at her softest, and even if Beau had started to absentmindedly start tracing shapes on her back with those lithe fingers of hers distracting the blue tiefling, Jester wasn't going to be deterred. So she pulled away a bit so she could look at Beau's eyes while they talked, but kept their legs tangled because they were going back to cuddling after.</p><p>"Beau."</p><p>Beau's eyes remain closed, and Jester knew now that Beau was just trying to be difficult. So she rolled her eyes, and started wiggling so the bed was bouncing. "Beau, Beau, Beau, Beau-"
</p><p>"Woah, ok." Beau's eyes snapped open and the hand wrapped around Jester slid down to a leg that had inched precariously close to rubbing against somewhere inappropriate. "Buy me dinner first."
</p><p>Jester gave her a bland look. "First of all, <i>technically</i>, technically I have bought you dinner, probably sometime in all the times we've been out to eat. Probably."
</p><p>"True."</p><p>"Second of all, you have <i>literally</i> not bought dinner or have had someone buy you dinner first in all the times I've seen you walk off with someone to have sex-"</p><p>"Hang on a minute."</p><p>"-so, technically, <i>technically</i>, I am way--Beau, are you listening?--<i>way</i> ahead of all your girls-"</p><p>"Ok, yeah, of course you are, but-"</p><p>"-So by that logic, we should have had sex by now."
</p><p>That threw Beau off, finally. "What?" she squeaked out.</p><p>Jester's voice raised an octave, cheeks blushing purple. "We're getting off track! I just wanted to ask you a question, and you're being really difficult!" She made to pull away so she could turn the other way again, because not looking at Beau sounded like a good idea right now, but also she <i>still</i> wanted to cuddle, ok.</p><p>"Ok! Ok, slow down. Hey, hey, wait." It wasn't difficult to stop Jester turning since Beau was fast, and honestly Jester wasn't trying too hard to get away. She was pouting when she looked back at Beau, though, eyebrows furrowed. "I'm awake. Ask. Ask away."</p><p>Jester remained stubbornly quiet and pouting at Beau, and Beau waited patiently, smiling a little when Jester rolled her eyes before speaking again.</p><p>"I just wanted to ask if you've read any books on princesses falling for other princesses."</p><p>Beau's eyebrows shot up. "Uh."</p><p>"I've just never read any."</p><p>Beau was quiet, something in her eyes shifting a little, and Jester felt her move a tiny bit away from her. Cautious, Jester surmised, noticing how Beau's limbs seemed to have drifted so her hands were more carefully placed, when earlier she was tracing lines against Jester's skin, her legs untangling from Jester's.</p><p>The monk didn't move entirely away, though, knowing that would have been too conspicuous. "Yeah." Beau looked away for a moment, before looking back towards Jester. "Yeah, um. Just uncommon? I guess just based on demography, there's more prince/princess stories because there are more of them in real life. But if you specifically ask for them, they're there."</p><p>Jester nodded in acknowledgement, already having guessed that was the case. But she still went through all the trouble of waking Beau up to ask her. So maybe Jester made a big deal about talking not just to know about the books.</p><p>Beau sensed this. <i>Why are you asking this? Why now? What are you thinking about? Why are you suddenly thinking about girls falling for other girls?</i> But instead of all these Beau asked, "Why, what's up?"</p><p>Maybe Jester knew what Beau was really asking. "Just wondering."</p><p>It was Beau's turn to roll her eyes. She was surprised they weren't completely annoyed with each other the way they were both pretty stubborn. "Well, don't give me a hard time dragging it out of you."</p><p>"Why not? You were definitely being a dick earlier."</p><p>"Well, we can't both be dicks about this."</p><p>"You wanna bet on that?"</p><p>"Jester," Beau whined. "C'mon." Then after a moment, "Also, I wouldn't. You cheat on bets."</p><p>Jester let the comment slide. "I think you actually wanna ask me something else."</p><p>Beau sighed loudly, before pulling away all the way so she could sit up, grabbing Jester's hands to pull her up, too, so both of them settled facing each other, legs crossed. "Why have you decided to bring this up now?" Her tone turned grumbling. "I don't like feelings at night."</p><p>"Ask me."</p><p>Beau glared at her. "Just tell me why you asked so we can go to sleep."</p><p>Jester was quiet for a minute, two minutes, eyes going from annoyed, to contemplating, to shrewd, to calm, while she seemed to be studying Beau's face hard, moving from her eyes to her cheeks, to her nose, then to her lips. Then- "Can I kiss you?"</p><p>Beau's eyes went wide at that, arms coming up to gesture wildly, maybe mildly panicked. "We're kind of jumping topics here-"</p><p>"Is that a no?"</p><p>"No! No, yes. Wait."</p><p>Jester made a face, nose scrunching cutely. "That was <i>very</i> unclear, Beau."</p><p>"Give me a chance to process this. Shit. Where the fuck is my game tonight?" Beau muttered the last part to herself, fidgeting by running her fingers through her hair, already down for the night.
</p><p>Jester giggled at that, happy to be the one to make Beau stutter, when girls usually were stuttering around the monk. "Ok, ok, ok. But <i>can</i> I kiss you?"</p><p>"Fuck." Beau seemed to take the biggest breath in, gathering courage. "Yeah. Yeah, go for it."
</p><p>Jester made a face again, but she couldn’t suppress her grin "That's definitely not what girls are supposed to say in fairy tales."</p><p>"The fuck are you-"</p><p>But Jester was already boldly pressing forward, bolstered by Beau's apparent nervousness. But Beau had only really stiffened for a split second, because this was something she'd wanted for a long time now, and then her lips were moving against Jester's.</p><p>"Wait, come back, wait," Beau muttered, pressing her lips against Jester's again when Jester tried to move away, making the tiefling giggle, but let herself be pulled in towards Beau. 
</p><p>Beau only allowed the kiss to break when Jester, arms around Beau, pulled the both of them to a horizontal position, both of them on their sides. Beau stiffened a little, not wanting to rush whatever was happening. "Yeah, wait, we have to wait, you're right-"</p><p>"What?" Jester asked, a little dazed, a little breathless. Her hair was in disarray, her lips  kiss-swollen, and there was a look in her eyes that drew Beau in.</p><p>Beau seemed to choke on air at the sight of a post-makeout Jester, then leaned forward again, losing her train of thought. "Nope. Yeah, you're right. We should keep kissing."</p><p>Beau leaned forward again as Jester laughed, light, the happiest since she left Nicodranas and her mama a few weeks back. The motion had Jester's head throwing back so Beau's lips landed on her neck instead, and Jester's hands on Beau's back only tightened to pull the monk closer. "Beau-"</p><p>"Don't listen to me. We should definitely keep kissing." Beau heard the melodic laughter again, which made her want to kiss those lips again, so she pulled back, pulling Jester in for another kiss.</p><p>And it was the briefest of kisses. Jester was sure it was the first time ever she'd seen Beau pout, which made her laugh again. "We'll get back to that. You were gonna tell me something."</p><p>"I've forgotten."</p><p>Jester smiled affectionately at that. "Mm-hmm." Then she shrugged, slightly awkwardly because they were on their sides. "Well, I think I have something to say, then. Is that ok?"</p><p>Jester watched Beau reach up to tuck Jester's hair behind her ear, hand lingering over the skin of her cheek, then running quickly down her shoulder, her arm, to hold Jester's hand. Beau's never been the most affectionate, but Jester also knew her to be a person who was more action than words.</p><p>"Yeah. Yeah, definitely."</p><p>Jester waited a moment, just looking at Beau, whose fingers were playing with hers and whose eyes were wandering Jester's face as much as Jester's was wandering over hers.</p><p>And Jester thought about all the stories she'd read, and all the ways she'd thought she'd wanted to find love, all the ways she'd wanted love to be.</p><p>And then she thought about Beau in all the ways that she was different from the characters Jester thought she had wanted to fall in love with, all the ways Jester had watched her ideas about love crumble, only to be built by and around the person who currently had Jester in her arms.</p><p>Jester shifted closer as she thought about love, about first kisses, first loves, about princes and princesses and kingdoms of magic and fantasy. And she thought about her own world of wizards and warlocks and a cleric who didn't wanna be a healer.</p><p>Of a human monk and how she wasn't what Jester expected to fall in love with, but definitely, <i>definitely</i> did.
</p><p>So Jester stared at Beau some more, until she noticed Beau start to fidget in worry. And she had to laugh, because wasn't she the one who asked to kiss Beau?</p><p>"I am in love with you, Beauregard Lionett," Jester proclaimed, leaning forward so the words were pressed against surprisingly soft lips.</p><p>"Woah, what?"</p><p>And Jester laughed again.</p><p>She was laughing so much. When had she ever laughed this much around someone other than her mama?</p><p>Hands running over tanned skin, she squeezed Beau's sides to pull her closer. "I'm in love with you, Beau."</p><p>Beau seemed to take longer than usual to think on it, studying Jester as thoroughly as she did her notes, disbelieving, and undoubtedly insecure. But the smile on her lips that had been there since they first kissed was still there, just a little more tentative now. "Yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah," Jester singsonged, as she was wont to do.</p><p>And Jester felt herself fall a little harder when Beau laughed, sunk a little deeper in Beau's arms when she was pulled flush against her. "Well, shit," Beau murmured, still disbelieving, still a little insecure. "I'm in love with you, too, Jester."
</p><p>Smile widening, Jester pressed up to reconnect their lips. "Ok, ok, ok. We can keep kissing now."
</p><p>They could barely kiss properly for a bit because of how big their smiles were, but they eventually got to it again.</p><p>And, Jester rationalized, all the important parts were still there in their story. They had their own first kiss, this was the first of hopefully many days when they fell in love, they protected each other constantly (and they were both girls, so that definitely meant they were both supposed to be protected by each other), and-</p><p>Honestly, fuck it.</p><p>For now she was gonna try to convince Beau if they could kiss the entire night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you have any beaujester prompts, I'd be happy to write them. Just leave me a comment. :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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